Ah another day of recording one of my favorite things to record…lately Who’s that? Oh god Oh OH…GOD STOP STOP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Okay there are secret units I get it! Okay? I hear you Loud and clear! Amigos I meant to do it last time and I completely forgot but people in the comments have been saying for a long time that there are secret units in totally accurate battle simulator and I just haven’t found them. I know shame on me Revoke my gamer card my camera cart get rid of it. Get it off the screen.
Okay, I don’t deserve this anymore I’m not a real gamer. We have to get this gamer card back by the end of this episode Or feck it! I’m not jacksepticeye the real Irish warrior Top of the mornin to ya ladies, my name is jacksepticeye and welcome back, of course to TABS, my favorite DAB’s game Erm, I don’t know how to get these secret units other than maybe..I think I could just Uh, procure them in sandbox Errrrrrmmmmmmmmm I dunno know where they are I need to find a list of where the things are because I’ll get them and then I’ll try them out. Alright. Free. Camera. Time. There’s apparently weapons hidden in the levels that you have to stare at and then you get the secret units and I don’t know if this is people pulling my leg Or if that’s actually how you do it, I want to see if I could find any of them on my own first I don’t wanna cheat the system.
You know, I wanna be, I wanna be a real gamer. I don’t see anything. Ooh Ooooh there’s one right here YEAH Unit unlocked: Shogun. SHOWWGUNUH. Wait those guys are in the original game OHHH Hell yeah The sensei. Oh ho ho Look at you hiding out down here. Who do you think you are? Okay, come to Jack come to Jackaboy Yes Oooh a Samurai Giant! Yes, okay. Let’s try them out. Ooh we’ve a brand new Secret menu. Guys. Guys. Brand new secret menu for us all to look at. Okay. Don’t tell anybody else Nobody else on YouTube has found these yet Erm That’s a joke.
Everybody has found them and I am incredibly late to everything got to do with this game Okay, I was in the real Japan. I was in the real Nihon. Okay? I wasn’t just doing it in the video. I was there for realsies, training my Sean OB skills. Um kay? Samurai giant just sounds like he has a cold. Okay, let’s do a samurai giant versus the three sensei’s. I think the sensei’s are the guys that throw…
MILLIONS of shurikens, aren’t they? Weren’t they in the early access as well? Oh ho ho yessss Oh yesss! EPIC! Okay, I think he’s actually gonna die very quickly. Oh my god. You’re riddled with them dude! You’re not even gonna get close! Oh man! That was- Okay, that was waaay overpowered. I thought that he would at least stand a chance. Ohh, yes, this is epic! Look at him go! He even spins around and everything. You’re still gonna lose aren’t you? I think you are- He’s gonna push you off the map if you’re not careful! Come on, dude. You gotta stand up for what you believe in. At least you got those SWEET knuckledusters on now. Alright, let’s do like The most fun thing. Let’s put a bunch of tiny men versus one that giant man Yessss This is what it’s all about. This is tabs. This is what the game should be Atack on Titan go! Oh ho ho my god! WHAT THE HELL?! I didn’t know he did flips! That’s awesome! Holy crap.
Yes. Oh I love this game You tried your best dude, but at the end of the day, you suck. Alright, let’s get a bunch more in there We can go much further with this later the battlefield Yeah That’s so satisfying to look at watch the manga flying I love this Ok, so one guy left, you can do it buddy. I believe in you. There’s no reason that you can’t do this other than the fact that you’re tiny and he’s giant You tried your best but you don’t succeed let’s see what one sensei can do against 50,000 hobbits Ok reality is whatever. I want it to be I can say how many units are in the game It doesn’t matter what the actual thing says Okay, oh My god, it’s like it’s like the Battle of Winterfell all over again just to see lockers under blue Good job buddy, you did it. You didn’t even have to look at the back of you. That’s what it’s all about That’s the strong warrior that I know over the Shogun’s. Ooh a parrot from just look awesome Whoa, okay jump into battle.
There you go You guys are laying there feasting on your flesh. This tabs are World War Z Oh, I know with the big brother of the family is I know who This big boy is he’s dispatched all his guys needs to come help us smaller brothers This must be the Steve of this family because it took him forever to do anything. He won in the end and that’s fine That’s all fine. And dandy like Stevie candy, but It took a long time to get there, but you know what? You’re a lot of my buddies Anyway, you could go that scree P. Holly factors can come into the IRA spare me.
Anyway, look at that big smiles on their faces What’s that I am on the hunt for the next secret unit, all right absolute units I’m trying to find I don’t know where the air though. Apparently he’s near some sort of tree stump Is it you it’s oddly quiet. I Really don’t like how quiet it actually is it in the fire look into the fire. What does the Lord of Light tell you? He oh Yes, give it to me give it to me there he is who is it what is it Cheerleaders What I have to rethink this I’m off to rethink this battle strategy because I don’t think this is working Jackie Jackie He’s our man if he can’t do it. No one can Jackie I’m my own cheerleader today. That’s It’s quite sad. Wait, what do you actually do? I mean others and look great. You all died already What do they do They literally just cheerleaders only. He’s a little confetti on him. Maybe he is stronger now maybe they’re like the priests I Have no idea but they’re all dead. They’re all dead. Stop carrying his body sub touching his ass Okay, he’s part of my Irish Gladiator army, you can keep singing all you want and don’t get us wrong It’s a great display of emotion and rage but at the end of the day, I want something different okay, the cheerleaders are a disappointment talked about in the board as This is the rating they get That’s bad.
What is that? I see Skulking away under the bushes. It’s a dragon head. Oh god, it blinks, huh? That’s actually kind of weird. What are you? looking at you know, you gotta give us a Real dragon with the foot there’s a wheelbarrow dragon hunt. It’s at home Okay, I like putting everything up against halflings cuz they go down easy tiny little men that are easy to squash You know, I’m say oh Yes, oh yeah you’re dead already Okay, at least this tree stump is ready What are you doing you the fucker? Tiny little men better easy to squat. Alright go again You pushed them back and you push them back But what’s the use of having all this fire? If you can’t actually do anything with it? Oh, it was the wheel The wheel went flying.
Ah, I see. Alright, where’s Bob Ross doing not great Look at this pillar of Magna You know these half men together, that’s about that’s about three lads. Let’s get a few V in there Okay, conga line jumbo train. Okay. Don’t flame each other. Oh You shower a gobshites whatever Oh cooter kudos to you you punched a small child in the face, haha I love physical violence at the same time. I wanted your dragons to do something else. Alright, no bad rating again on aesthetics on aesthetics to get that okay, but overall this It’s not worth it. You guys suck keep your papers peopled people. We’re looking for the elusive We’re looking for the strange we’re looking for the secretive.
All right, there’s something here I can My Irish nose can smell it out the Gaelic blood in me can sniff out the Warriors that are needed for the battle to come All right, but I don’t know who it is or what it is. Is it you tree stopped? No, was it the tree stump last time this tree looks odd? Haha, I knew it I knew I could smell you out What are you a? Tree giant let’s get you into battle buddy tree jade you cuz oh, that’s it. 40,000. Oh Yes. Oh, yes, look at him. Oh, he’s shy He’s shy he’s hiding himself behind the tree. He’s like, oh, I wonder if they like me. They’re gonna love you, buddy What better to put a tree giant up against other than little men? It’s like a flash mob we didn’t have and just leading them to bust out and just dance this guy already won So look at him Battery pissed his pants. Oh, yeah Yes He’s so much bigger. He’s not even come up to his wobbly knees Mess him up This is the I love this game is so stupid Slam slam your tree down.
Oh my god The house wings are terrifying are you guys know what the you guys know what section to run at the happenings are terrifying when they actually all pile together like dun dun dun dun dun Hey, look he’s just smacking himself hidden him something the dick with his tree That’s what the tree looks like right now It’s just as massive we get him tree man get him Treebeard. Mr. Bopp Yes Yes, the bodies are gonna fly. That’s so awesome That’s so imposing. Look. Ow. This is you and this is all of my love and affection. Come on swing Yes Oh This can’t go to pootie cheek.
Yes, you know, it’s up, you know what to grab, you know where to go. Yeah That’s so awesome look at them flying there’s something Absolutely beautiful about seeing this in super slow motion. Look at him fly. Look at that. Perfect little like Circle that he blasts out of them It’s so awesome. Keep your keep your head up though, buddy. You’re gonna have to swing again in a second There you go, swing a second time or even am I I’m stuck in all the bodies Yeah, get him, oh, it’s David versus Goliath yeah, I must go now my planet needs me You try it buddy. It was a valiant effort But at the end of the day, you just can’t go up against the giant.
He’s too good Oh, yes, is this is this gonna be Sir Arthur? What is it? The teacher is it Syrio Forel From Game of Thrones. Is he the teacher the dancing instructor? I Hope so. Okay. Go up against all the halflings again talk but Sean you keep doing the same thing over Okay, it works. It’s funny. Are you supposed to be Syrio Forel? Cuz he was areas dancing instructor. He was her sword master her teacher Okay, okay, you know, it’s getting bombarded oh no That was terrible, dude Okay.
Well you are her it is one versus a hundred and ten Let’s see how you’re in dancing skills like River dad’s tap dancin all Irish footing man McGee Yes, ah He’s awesome. He actually like to flex swords That’s so cool, okay you died anyway and you kind of suck In that regard, but you tried your best So far, the only one worthy of my army is the tree giant Maybe the samurai China and the sensei as well, but those guys are okay. They’re on thin ice if I Was a secret unit Hiding on an island. Where would I be? I probably upper being the tallest tower and the highest cliff All right, because that’s where fiona was and that’s where shrek went together But I’m not actually seeing anything here so I might be wrong oh oh oh I broke the game Whoa, what? Are you doing all the way over here? Ya crazy, man. What are you a fun Bearer? Hey, he bears you because you guys are fans of the channel and of totally accurate about it’s a very high-class joke Okay.
I learned it in comedy school that I never went to. I’m already expecting a whole lot from you Are you just going to blow these guys back? Okay, that’s kind of cute that’s kind of cute but it’s not enough I need the strongest of warriors I need the high-class high-tier Back lads ready to go. Let me to have one two, three, four, five six, seven eight there’s only one more there’s only nine units and There’s only nine secret units in the game And where would the last one be whatever I not checked out yet the Viking somewhere in these trees Somewhere out there. There’s a secret There’s a lad waiting There’s a there’s a faking unit in the middle of all of this. I Can smell him I can sniff him? I can hear him. He calls to me he says Send him, is that it. Oh, look at you a spicy little fucker yet hiding away in the middle an Ice giant oh, that sounds like a weapon to surpass Metal Gear for sure Yes Look at this spicy meatball.
No, you look great – reeling huge shield hips I was gonna say he healed shit. He’ll sips. I can’t even speak it so excited Let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit that shhh You’re awesome, dude Okay, he’s got a little shimmy sham going on damn look at that power Okay, we need to get some giant on Giant action going. Alright, this feels like a good battle This feels like something that’s gonna go down Mess up.
Okay. You have to put your you place your bets. Who do you thinks gonna win? Put it in the comments? Okay, is it gonna be the ice giant or the tree giant place your bets? No My money’s gonna be on the tree giant Mainly because he’s holding up a big tree a big lump of land and as an Irishman has a Gaelic gladiator Oh man at the Shamrock Isles and the Celtic warriors I need to stick with people of nature and he just looked I need to stick with Well, the eye strain looks like he’s caring out of a potato like most Irish people. So I’m numb that one conflicted brain I’m going with the tree giant. Okay place your bets now Get up mess him up. Hit him at that tree you Have a weapon he does not Get him Get him smack him Come on don’t God he hits hard. Okay. It’s like Godzilla vs. Kong No Treebeard, oh you got taken out epic style though.
He hits you so hard he creates a sonic boom Now we’re Going with the samurai giant versus the ice giant And this is gonna be the ice giant, I know this samurai giant has a big fuckin sword He’s gonna stick him at the pointy end. But I think that the ice giant it’s just one big heck and faker you know, I think he’s just gonna hit him so hard that he’s doing back into the era Yeah Into last week. Oh My lord, he’s unstoppable I think they might actually stand a chance Because they throw so many that it just keeps him back He’s never gonna get there.
Oh my god That wasn’t even close. Okay, wait, you guys are so Opie? What about one guy versus an ice giant? Truly you can’t wait ladies. You’re a mess. Oh You’re not gonna last you are not gonna last Go god, that’s a big hit. That’s a big sweet. Look at him T posing to assert dominance. Oh Yes. Oh Wait, no, he didn’t he’s actually broken. His arms are backwards Alright that battle we’ve all been waiting more waiting for I can’t even speak today What’s wrong with me an ice? giant versus an ice giant one big faker versus another absolute unit Who’s going to come away with the title? My money’s on red? Come on, right? I like red more than I like blue It’s a better color.
It’s the color of Rage. It’s the color of fire We don’t have a green one in there for the Shamrock warrior, but we don’t need it Oh my god, you guys are you guys are knocking seven shades of shite ho to one another Mess each other up get him. Oh, you guys want to hold hands and hug? Okay No One Yeti versus another Okay. Yes. Come on red come on. Yes, that’s the victory We’re looking for right knew it all you blue Advisors all you’ve you people in the blue camp. You don’t even know what it’s all about Does it for this episode of totally accurate battle simulator? we’ve had some boats we’ve had some rounds and we see who came out on top and The strong did you strongest unit of them? All is the ice giant. Give it up everybody But I’m gonna leave it here and go learn how to speak again because apparently I’ve completely forgotten out. Maybe the ice rain Hit me in the head. But as we always say don’t forget to go out and punch a child in there See y’all next time.
Bye I’m ding-ding-ding winner .
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